The decision to have a child is a huge one – this article explores all the pros and cons of having a baby, so you can decide with confidence.
Parenting is a big decision to make in life and it is a decision that many people have strong feelings about – both for and against.
If you are reading this to help you decide, then I want to say “good job” to you for giving serious thought to this important life decision.
You’ll be surprised by the tremendous effort involved and the slightest joy you can get from caring for a baby.
This article aims to present the best arguments for both pros and cons of having a baby with a touch of humor.
During the research process, we reviewed 6 research papers on motherhood, watched 10+ videos on the effect of having a baby on mothers, and conducted a simple survey.
We hope this article can help you make a more informed decision.
Table of Contents
Pros – 10 Most common reasons for having a baby
#1. They think a baby is a must for the family.
To many people, a family consists of a wife, a husband, and a kid – unless that kid is really, really annoying. In that case, it might be just the wife and husband.
Ultimately, they want a baby to carry the family name.
This usually happens to someone who comes from a family with history – they are somebody or somebody’s somebody.
And, it usually means they want a boy.
#2. They think kids will bring them joy.
Many people who want a baby also want one for the sole purpose of having someone to love and take care of them when they’re old and grey. But as my parent will probably tell you, an adorable little bundle of love can turn out to be a terrible teenager.
Children are the light of their parent’s lives and bring happiness in ways that nothing else can. Even though they can be a lot of work and cause some stress with their busy schedules, studies have shown that parents are happier than non-parents.
This is especially true when they can manage their work-life balance well and are financially secure.
#3. Kids give their lives meaning and purpose.
Kids may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but they sure do make life interesting.
From the moment they’re born, kids are constantly surprising their parents with their new developments and adorable antics. Sure, having kids costs money and adds a lot of stress to an already hectic life, but they also bring a dimension of happiness that can’t be found anywhere else.
Plus, let’s be honest: life can be pretty boring without a family life with kids around.
They add a sense of excitement and purpose that is unmatched by anything else. So if you’re looking for a little more meaning in your life, having a baby might just be the answer.
#4. They think it’s natural to have babies.
Most people feel the need to have babies because they believe it’s their natural duty and responsibility. After all, Babies are the future! Plus, they’re just so darn cute, it’s hard not to want one.
However, there are also many people who don’t feel this biological drive to have children. And that’s perfectly okay! Everyone is different and there is no right or wrong answer when it comes to having kids.
#5. They like the idea of unconditional love and devotion.
People want to have babies for a lot of reasons, but one of the most common reasons is because they want to experience unconditional love and devotion. Babies are completely dependent on their parents for everything, and many parents are usually willing to do anything for their children to make them happy and stay healthy.
It’s an amazing feeling to know that you are loved no matter what, and it’s something that a lot of people want to experience.
#6. They are nudged by family or friends.
Some couples are encouraged to have babies by their family and friends.
These couples may be nudged into having children because of the belief that babies are a symbol of happiness and joy. Additionally, these couples may be encouraged to have children in order to continue the family lineage or to carry on the family name.
This pressure can sometimes result in them having children before they are ready or before they have fully thought through the decision.
#7. They don’t want to be alone when they get old.
One reason is that people want someone to take care of them when they get old. It’s expensive to live in a nursing home, and 20% of the people who died during the pandemic died in a nursing home.
So if you’re thinking about having a baby, know that you’re not alone— millions of people have the same reasons.
#8. They want to man up and go to the “next stage”.
Some people believe that having babies is the next step in life and that it’s a way to show that they are adults and have reached a more mature stage. They may also feel like they need to have children to prove their masculinity or femininity.
Whatever the reason, having children is a big decision that should not be taken lightly. There are many other things to consider before taking the plunge into parenthood.
#9. There are some tax benefits.
Many European countries offer generous tax policies for new parents and families with children. In the US, there are child tax credits for each qualifying dependent child.
Here is a video of top baby tax benefits
The new American Rescue Plan expanded the child tax credit and you could get up to $250 a month for each child. Raising children can be expensive and two hundred and fifty dollars may look small but you will agree that the money could go a long way in settling petty bills.
#10. There are reports of health benefits.
The National Cancer Institute reports that women with children are less likely to develop breast cancer. With children, you will also be less likely to engage in unhealthy habits, such as late-night parties.
The result of a 2009 study shows that the risk of cardiovascular disease is also reduced for mothers who breastfeed.
A 2012 Australian study also shows that having a baby may lead to a longer life and one of the indicators is the reduced chance of becoming hypertensive.
30+ Creative and Funny Reasons for Having a Baby
- Being called “Mommy” sounds so cool
- You get to be celebrated on Mother’s and Father’s Day
- More “likes” and “comments” when you announce on social media
- So that you will not be alone, even in old age
- Your post-pregnancy body is an excuse to change your wardrobe
- The world needs fresh talents
- God wants us to multiply
- Because a baby needs me
- At least, you get by laugh releases endorphins in the mother’s system
- Having a baby is proof of love
- Babies make you read fairy tales again
- People might become nicer to you
- Your family might become lively
- Your boobs may get bigger
- You get a chance to go on maternity leave
- Family friends visit you with free meals.
- Your child helps with laundry
- Parking privileges
- Not worrying about birth control.
- No period for nine months
- A stronger bond between you and your husband
- A baby’s skin feels so succulent
- Finding the perfect name is fun and beautiful
- Shopping for baby clothes
- Styling a baby’s hair is fun and beautiful
- Having an excuse for laziness
- Children make you happy
- You can be proud to be a mother
- One of the best feelings is hearing a baby’s heartbeat for the first time
- Even though people soften up when they see babies
- Having a baby boosts your self-esteem
- Spending time with a child is more exciting than a disco
- Baby giggles are soothing
10 biggest reasons for NOT having a baby.
#1. They value personal freedom.
Mothers have 5.4 hours less leisure time than they used to and new parents may resent their children because of the time they have to sacrifice to raise them. Having a baby can leave you with less time.
#2. They don’t want sour their relationship.
People often think that having children will bring them closer to one another, enhance their relationship and make it stronger since they are bonding over a little person they created.
In reality, this is not exactly the case.
Psychology Today reported that “marital satisfaction rates actually fall after the birth of the first child.”
#3. They value their sex life.
Having a baby is a transformation. Physically, mentally, and maritally.
You might have heard that the secret to a successful marriage is “to keep a man’s stomach full and his balls empty.”
Studies show that couples have less sex after they have babies, experiencing a reduced amount of 40% in the first year and 25% having sex just one time per month. New fathers experience a 33% or more drop in testosterone, making them more reliable and caring while reducing their sex drive.
In a review of previous studies, it’s evident that parenthood has a negative effect on marital satisfaction. Studies show that the decline in marital satisfaction is most severe among parents with lower socioeconomic statuses or those at younger ages.
#4. They worry that their husband will lose interest in them.
Some are worried that giving birth will make their body look horrible. Consequently, moms may lose their man’s attention.
Yes, there is a high chance that you will age faster and be out-of-shape. And, yes, having a baby also increases a woman’s chance of obesity. A baby is a huge sacrifice for a mom – before, during, and after.
But, no, your man may change his heart for reasons that have nothing to do with you.
The truth is it doesn’t take a lot to get a man distracted.
So, don’t worry.
#5. They think it’s too much stress.
13% of new mothers have higher risks for postnatal depression within a year of giving birth, followed by 39% of new mothers who will get depressed when their child turns 12 years old. The stress may seem less severe for fathers; however only 3% of dads suffer from depression before their child turns 12, and 21% after.
Women with children often experience fatigue and stress more than women without children. This is especially true for single parents.
There are lots of worries about having your own kids, for example, you might worry about…
- Your kid is not growing as fast as others, not as smart as others
- You are not doing enough
- Your husband might cheat on you – worst if he does it with your best friend or a sister…
- Your career is gone
- Your body is gone
- Your freedom is gone
- Your money is gone
- Your life is gone
#6. They want to spend the money elsewhere.
Raising a child can cost as much as $234,000 over 17 years, and the more children you have the higher your expenses will be. Parents of modest income often find it difficult to save for their children’s future or their future.
#7. They want to keep their lifestyle with friends.
A survey of 1,000 parents showed that after having kids, 54% and 57% of women and men respectively are less satisfied with their friendships. This is due to the lack of time spent with friends, as some of them are likely just single parents too.
#8. They just don’t have a support system.
Not everyone has a grandparent or parent that can help take care of a baby.
Not everyone has access to or can afford a domestic helper like in Hong Kong and Singapore.
Some countries like Denmark have higher birth rates and happier parents because of support systems. Their economies are parent-friendly, e.g., providing a year of maternity leave, subsidized child care, and universal healthcare.
#9. They want more in their career.
A 2014 marriage research finds that children reduce women’s labor force participation, the older the stronger the effect up to the 40s and 50s.
Women face fewer opportunities and harsher judgment standards than their childless peers. Likewise, employers are less willing to take them if they have children as well.
#10. They simply think parenthood is optional.
Some cultures impose strict norms and expectations on what a woman should and should not do. It’s suffocating.
In May 2022. a couple in India are suing their son and daughter-in-law — for not giving them grandchildren after six years of marriage (CNN). Yes. 2022.
My opinion is that parenthood is optional. It takes a whole village to raise a child. And, many developed countries realize this, hence the low birth rates, higher education, and higher labor participation for women.
27 Creative Reasons for Not Having a Baby
- You’ll never be able to go out again.
- Your life will revolve around diapers and feedings.
- Children are expensive.
- It’s a lot of work.
- They keep you up at night.
- You’ll have less time for yourself.
- They’re loud and messy.
- You have to be careful what you say and do around them.
- They’re always needing something.
- You can’t just pick up and go whenever you want anymore.
- Your house will never be clean again.
- There’s no such thing as a quiet moment.
- You’ll never sleep through the night again.
- You’ll always be tired.
- You’ll have to give up your social life.
- You won’t be able to travel anymore.
- You’ll have to watch what you eat and drink.
- You’ll have to miss out on a lot of events.
- Your wardrobe will never be the same.
- You’ll have to say goodbye to spontaneous weekends.
- You’ll have to think about someone other than yourself all the time.
- You’ll never have a moment to yourself.
- Your life will change completely.
- You’ll never be able to predict what will happen next.
- You’ll never be able to relax.
- You’ll have to be more responsible.
- You’ll always have someone depending on you.
Having a baby is a life-changing event that comes with both pros and cons. On the one hand, you have the joy of bringing a new life into the world and watching them grow up. On the other hand, you also have to deal with sleep deprivation, more bills, and never having a moment to yourself again.
There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to deciding whether or not to have a baby.
Ultimately, whether or not having a baby is right for you is a personal decision that only you can make. Weighing the pros and cons carefully is an important part of making this decision.
Share this image for future reference and let us know which reason resonates with you the most.