Ever ask yourself how I can support my pregnant wife? This article is for you.
Pregnancy can be an emotional and challenging time for a woman and her pregnant partner. It’s important to know how to best support your pregnant wife – from start to finish!
In this article, we’ll explore 49 ideas that you can use throughout the pregnancy period. We cover everything from what you should do when she first tells you about the pregnancy, all the way up until she has given birth.
Before the news – mental tricks to get yourself prepared
Oh, great. She’s pregnant. You have been trying. Now, the dream comes true.
When you find out your pregnant wife is expecting, it can be a whirlwind of emotions. You may feel scared, excited, and overwhelmed all at the same time. It’s important to take some time to get mentally prepared before the baby arrives. Here are a few things you can do to get yourself in the right frame of mind:
#1. Understand that this is a gift.
When you think about it, having a child is a pretty amazing thing. They are completely dependent on you for their care and development, and they will grow up to be someone completely new and unique.
I have friends who have been trying. One couple even went through a tube baby process to have a son.
It’s not easy. And, we should be grateful for that.
#2. Picture yourself as a father.
Seeing yourself as a father can help motivate you to be there for your pregnant wife and child. Picture yourself doing the things a good father does.
Like eating “with” your baby 🙂
#3. Understand this is a sacrifice for her.
Your pregnant wife goes through a lot of changes both physically and emotionally. Recognize that she is making a big sacrifice for the both of you and be there to support her.
#4. Show her that you’re in this together.
Show solidarity. If there is something she can’t eat or drink (like coffee) because of the pregnancy, join her. Find a way to put yourself in her shoes.
#5. Prioritize life around her.
Sometimes pregnant women can feel like they are losing their sense of self. This is especially true if the pregnancy comes as a surprise, or she’s already busy with other responsibilities. Look for ways to help her take care of herself and do things that makes her happy even though you will be feeling exhausted yourself sometimes.
#6. Empower her with a “we” metaphor and analogy.
One of my favorite analogies is that pregnant women are like the earth. So, I would say “You are like the Earth because all of the weight is on you right now”.
If she is like earth, I am like a cactus plant. When it rains or snows on me (her), my spikes will protect her from harm. If she needs air to breathe (space) then I can be flexible about my schedule, and I will make myself available to her.
#7. Empower her with a “she” metaphor and analogy.
Remind her she’s brave but also allow her to be vulnerable. Don’t force the “you are stronger than you think” narrative to her. You are her husband, not her football coach.
Sometimes when I’m under a lot of pressure, I’d like to remind myself how diamonds form. Diamonds are formed under the Earth’s crust when heat and pressure is applied to carbon. The pregnant woman can be like a diamond because she will emerge even more beautiful after all of the stress in her life has been applied.
If pregnant women are like diamonds, I am like ice (liquid nitrogen) which freezes at -346°F! I will keep pregnant women cold (cool) throughout her pregnancy. If pregnant women need warmth to be comfortable, I will take the time to create opportunities for us to enjoy ourselves and feel good!
Tips #6 and #7 can be powerful as it also offers a way to escape and help her find meaning.
#8. Expect this will cost you some money.
At least, in the beginning, pregnant wives will need some extra money to cover expenses like groceries and medical bills.
My own experience has been cash flying out of my wallet from the start to finish…
There are lots of ultrasound scans in the beginning because there are scary moments. And, we wanted to be sure. Then there is the C-Section towards the end.
My priority is for my wife to feel comfortable and as happy as safety allows during the nine months. Everything else is secondary.
#9. Expect this to change your wife physically and psychologically.
Some pregnant women are uncomfortable being pregnant, have to deal with morning sickness, or are unable to sleep. Try not to take it personally if your pregnant wife is cranky sometimes because she’s probably trying her best under difficult circumstances.
#10. Prove yourself to be a worthy husband.
This is the best moment. You pregnant wife has entrusted you with the life of another human being. You will be a father! And what better way to start than by proving yourself worthy of this trust?
#11. Lower your expectations.
This is not the time to start imposing new rules or expecting your pregnant wife to do things she’s not comfortable doing.
Remember, pregnant women are under a lot of stress and they need some space to relax.
#12. Help her with household chores as much as possible.
This will take some burden off of her so she can focus on the pregnancy.
#13. Don’t think it’s easy to be pregnant.
It’s hard for guys to imagine what it’s like to be pregnant. Just like it’s hard for girls to imagine what it’s like to be a man. So, don’t be offended if your pregnant wife doesn’t always understand what you’re going through. Just try to be understanding of her experiences as well.
Gratitude is the best state of mind. Take a page from Simpson.
#14. Offer your support and understanding.
The first trimester can be a difficult time for pregnant women. They may feel tired, nauseous, and emotional. Be there for your wife and offer her your support.
During the pregnancy
Once your pregnant wife begins to show, it’s important to adjust your behavior accordingly. Here are some things you can do to help make her pregnancy as comfortable as possible:
#15. Help with household tasks.
During the second trimester, pregnant women often start to feel more energetic. However, they may still feel overwhelmed by the work required to keep a household running. Offer your pregnant wife help with housework and errands, especially if she’s feeling too tired or sick to do them herself.
#16. Listen to her and be there for her.
Many pregnant women experience mood swings during the second trimester. They may be happy one minute and upset the next. Be there for your wife, listen to her, and try to understand what she’s going through.
#17. Don’t judge her.
Pregnancy is a time when pregnant women might experience insecurity. They may not feel attractive or sexy anymore because pregnancy changes their body and they don’t want to be judged for this change in appearance.
Try your best to avoid critiquing the pregnant woman’s looks and focus on her instead of what she looks like at that moment. She will appreciate your support even if she doesn’t say it.
#18. Don’t EVER compare her with any other woman.
And NEVER, EVER with pregnant women you know. This is the biggest taboo there is. Don’t compare your pregnant wife to any pregnant woman or other pregnant woman’s husband so as not to hurt her self-esteem and feelings of insecurity about pregnancy changes she might be experiencing at that time.
Pregnant women feel insecure enough already without their husbands making comparisons.
Support Your Pregnant During Second trimester
The second trimester is often a time when pregnant women start to feel more energetic and comfortable with their pregnancy. They may enjoy being pregnant more and be less likely to experience mood swings. However, they will still need your support. Here are some things you can do during the second trimester.
#19. Be a sounding board.
She may be talking more to her pregnant friends, but she still needs you as a support system and confidant. Letting your pregnant wife share what is on her mind will help both of you cope with the pregnancy process. Even if it’s something that has nothing to do with the pregnancy or how she feels, just listening to her will help.
#20. Don’t be afraid of the pregnant woman’s mood swings. Expect them!
Many pregnant women experience mood swings that can last for a few minutes or even days, so these are something you may encounter during pregnancy as well. If she is usually an easy-going person, but suddenly lashes out at you without explanation
#21. Be upbeat, no matter what.
When your pregnant wife is feeling down, it can be tough to stay positive yourself, but you must do. Pregnancy hormones can be unpredictable and cause mood swings for both the pregnant woman and her partner, so try not to take things too personally. Happy home life will help make the pregnancy more enjoyable for everyone involved.
#22. Be a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.
Even if your pregnant wife is not experiencing mood swings, she may still need someone to talk to. Make sure you are available when she needs you and be prepared to offer emotional support. Pregnancy can be a difficult time for some women, so she will appreciate knowing that you’re there for her.
#23. Prepare meals and snacks for her.
If your wife vomits during her pregnancy like mine. Then read on…
Pregnant women are more likely to experience nausea and vomiting during their second trimester. This can be caused by hormones, the growing baby, or even smells that normally don’t bother her. If your wife is struggling with morning sickness, try to prepare meals that are easy to digest and avoid strong odors.
#24. Help out around the house. Do laundry. Do the dishes. (Still need me to tell you this?). My wife’s morning sickness is pretty much an all-day event. Once I learn more about morning sickness, I finally accepted that my wife is unlikely to choose to be sick just to have your attention.
Just in case you have a stupid thought like that… Don’t!
Be proud of being better than your wife at doing housework.
#25. Offer support during doctor’s appointments and other pregnancy-related events, but avoid the temptation to give advice unless it is specifically requested by your pregnant wife.
#26. Allow her some time alone if she wants to rest or take a break from you for any reason (mood swings).
#27. Spend time with your pregnant wife’s family and friends. This can help her feel more connected to them and give you a chance to get to know them better.
In-laws can be hard to deal with. I know… But, focus on what your wife needs.
You can handle this.
#28. Go on walks or bike rides together.
Help her get exercise especially when it’s encouraged by the doctor. Pregnancy is not the time to start an intense new workout routine, but light exercise is still healthy for both of you.
#29. Bring her little presents now and then.
Flowers, chocolates or a stuffed animal are inexpensive ways to show you care and make her smile.
#30. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Accept help from others if needed because pregnant women deserve the best treatment possible!
Sometimes you might be wondering how someone else is having an easier time or having others to help.
Replace “what’s wrong” with “what is right.” Be thankful.
During the third trimester, pregnant women need extra care and attention because they are more uncomfortable than before. The pregnant woman will be very tired during the last month of pregnancy. Here are some things you can do to help ease her pregnancy:
#31. Stay close to your pregnant wife during the third trimester.
She will need your emotional support more than ever. Tell her she’s beautiful. Appreciate the little things that she’s able to do herself. Ask her what kind of mom she wants to be or dad she expects you to be.
#32. Offer help around the house.
Even more important at this point since her belly is just too large to even bend herself over.
Help with meals, but don’t push her to eat things she doesn’t want or do too much for her (mood swings). Let her choose her own food. It’s easy to freak out with the first child. You might want your wife to take this or that supplement because it’s good for the baby.
#33. Let your pregnant wife rest as needed.
Pregnancy is very exhausting! Sometimes all pregnant women need during their third trimester is a little extra sleep in order to feel better.
#34. Be flexible and careful with intimate actions.
During the last month of pregnancy, pregnant women should avoid sex because it can be uncomfortable for them (unless they really want to). If your pregnant wife wants to have sex during her third trimester, make sure you use lube and go slowly so she is comfortable!
#35. Drive conversations to help her stay positive.
Talk about the happy stuff like what kind of names she likes. Ask her what she likes about the baby’s personality. Get her to talk and express her feelings. This will help her feel more prepared and relaxed for the big day.
Know that it is estimated that 14-23% of pregnant women experience some type of depression.
#36. Help her pack her hospital bag.
More often than not, the new mom will know better. What’s important is that she feels supported.
#37. Go on walks.
Or take a light bike ride together in order to keep active during the third trimester (but no intense exercises).
#38. Keep your pregnant wife company.
Avoid doing anything too strenuous because she is more tired than before (no intense workouts). More importantly, don’t let her try things that may be physically straining.
But, she’s up for a little dancing or boxing (after checking with your doctor), then go with her.
#39. Stay away from smoking and drinking.
At least not around pregnant women during their last trimester because it can be very harmful to the baby’s development! Also avoid second-hand smoke or cigarette smoke to protect pregnant women.
#40. Practice drill for delivery!
When your pregnant wife is about to give birth, make sure you stay calm and supportive because there may be a lot of stress involved. Having contingency plans for early labor or other situations will help you be prepared.
Picture yourself going through the process. Some people are scared of the delivery room. But, tell yourself that you are the hero of your wife and you will be there to support your partner.
#42. Take your pregnant wife on a date!
Go out to eat, see a movie or just take a walk together. Spending quality time together will help strengthen your relationship.
After the baby is born
So your pregnant wife has finally given birth! Now what?
#43. Be sure to take care of yourself as well as your pregnant wife and new baby!
Make sure you are getting enough sleep. Eat healthy foods. Read some nutrition articles. Understand your body works like a car. Feed it with the right fuel.
COVID, work from home, gyms closing down, and other things are making it tough for everyone to stay healthy and fit.
But, you know who’s tougher? You.
#44. Help out with the new baby.
Be proactive and proficient with changing diapers, feedings, burping and anything else that needs to be done with the new baby.
Your partner now has a baby to take care on top of a changing body; be understanding if she starts falling asleep while feeding her or doing something else. Be a good partner.
#45. Let her rest; get a confinement service.
Arrange things for your wife to recover from the childbirth. It’s practically an operation from the hospital. So, you really should treat her as someone to be cared for.
Hong Kong women typically do a 1-month confinement, during which they rest and recover. There are lots of things that they can and cannot do, e.g., can’t drink or even touch cold water…
#46. Help your pregnant wife adjust to being a mom!
There will be a lot of changes in her life now and she will need your support more than ever.
#47. Practice mindfulness to stay mentally strong.
If you are taking care of the pregnant wife and new baby, then who’s taking care of you?
Everyone copes differently. I like to talk with my family and friends to understand what it was like for them to get some perspectives.
Personally, I find meditation helpful.
#48. Be supportive about newborn feeding choices.
Whether she’s breastfeeding or bottle-feeding, respect her choice. Don’t pressure pregnant wives into doing anything they are not comfortable with. Help your wife out when and if your family member has a strong opinion about this.
#49. Help her prepare a baby shower.
This article has 87 unique baby shower ideas to help you come up with your own version.
#50. Start thinking about the baby names.
#55. Get educated. Read pregnancy books. Take online courses when in-person ones are hard to come by. You will likely get overwhelmed.
#51. Keep your distance from other women.
You will be spending more time with pregnant wives (especially if you are the stay-at-home dad). But, make sure to not act too friendly toward other women because pregnant wives might get jealous. And, they are extremely vulnerable. Some may even go into depression.
So, don’t be that guy who goes out drinking and partying right after birth.
Also, understand your wife might feel insecure and threatened by your attractive friends. Her body is different. And, she might have lots of worries and no clue about future plans.
And, sure, don’t get distracted. Take my advice on this.
#52. Give your wife foot massages.
Some Chinese doctors advise against massaging during pregnancy. So, if you didn’t give messages to your wife back then. This is the best time to do it.
In addition, this is the time she will start to look for signs that you don’t love her any more.
When your wife is pregnant, she needs double the care and attention since there are two of them. If you’re not sure what to do or how to provide that proper support for your pregnant wife during her second trimester of pregnancy, don’t worry!
We’ve put together a guide on the top things pregnant wives need from their husbands during this time.
Parenthood is a big responsibility, and it all starts with caring for one’s mother. Becoming a parent is both frightening and exciting.
Dads-to-be, you are on the right track.
Take it all in stride!
Let me know if you have any questions or suggestions.